Real
by rika08
Summary: SPOILERS: UNENDING. My take on "the scene" between Daniel and Vala. first SG1 fic.
1. Chapter 1

"Unless…you really…don't find me attractive." The words felt like venom as Vala said them. She wished she could take them back.

Daniel gave Vala a cutting, deeply skeptical look. "Do you want an honest answer to that question?"

"No." Vala answered. She turned around and picked up her shirt from his bed.

Daniel moved closer to Vala. "No seriously, you started this! Do you want an honest answer to the question?"

"No, don't worry about it." Vala answered. Her hands fiddled with her shirt, trying to fix it. She needed to leave. She needed to leave now.

"Do you believe I could have any kind of serious feelings for you?" Daniel asked.

Vala froze for a moment. What was she expecting from him? She turned slowly, facing him. "I wasn't suggesting you have _serious_ feelings, Daniel."

Daniel nodded. "Oh! Oh, what, so what-what, we sleep together once, then what?" He paused. "We work together! And you know, even saying that part out loud sounds unbelievable." He walked away from Vala laughing darkly.

Vala turned from Daniel, slowly sinking to the bed behind her. Tears sting her eyes as they threaten to fall. Vala mentally tried to keep them from falling.

"I mean…come on! I mean, I can't even imagine what a—what a relationship with you would _be_ like!" Daniel yelled.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She kept her breathing slow, not wanting Daniel to be given the chance to hear, or see, Vala in her weakness.

Daniel continued his rant, a tad calmer this time. "I mean, yes, yes, you've proven yourself to be…trustworthy on a professional level, and for that I am very proud of you, but on a personal level? Vala, come on, give me a break!"

Vala inhaled quietly, trying to keep more tears from falling. Why couldn't se stop crying? She was stronger than this.

"I mean, at best, you're a-a-a…an emotional…unstable wreck!" Daniel said.

Vala felt her chest seize. Daniel's words cut into her deeply.

" I'm not saying I'm much better. I'm not saying I'm much better." Daniel stepped away from Vala again. "There was a time when I thought I would _never_ get over my wife. I mean, the idea of…being hurt that way again. But I've finally gotten to the place. I've finally, for the first time in a long time, have gotten to the place where I actually feel I could get close to somebody again. But not in a million years, a million, million years, would I ever possibly consider that person being you!"

Vala winced as his words caused more tears to fall. But she still wouldn't face him. Not now.

" I mean, we are so completely opposite and _wrong_ for each other, it's not even funny! And the worst part, the worst part about that is, you know that!" Daniel accused. "And this whole flirty sexual thing that you do, that's just your way of having a laugh at my expense. So I'm so sorry if I'm not more appreciative of that and I'm so sorry that you're bored. But don't you pretend it's _anything_ else!"

Vala nodded slowly, appreciative that his venomous words and harsh- yet partially true- accusations were finally over. She heard Daniel sigh and step away. Vala wiped the tears that had fallen from her chin calmly.

"_Don't_ act like you're hurt." Daniel demanded.

Vala gasped a brief laugh. Though it sounded more like a stifled cry. She picked up her sweater and slipped her arms through the sleeves. Her breath comes out in a ragged gasped. The room is silent, except the movements of Vala and her breathing.

What was she expecting coming to him? Certainly not this. Vala knew that her deeds in her life earned her many repercussions. And Vala accepted them. But Vala never once expected this as one of them, especially from Daniel.

Daniel's steps came from the other side of the room, growing closer to her. The bed shifts as he sits on the bed beside her. Vala quickly turned from him, hiding her tear stained face. She pulled up the sleeves of her sweater.

Daniel reached up and touched her back "Hey."

Vala covered her face with her hands. Her voice failed to keep her strength. "Just give me a minute."

Daniel withdrew his hand. His eyes wandered over Vala's hunched over form. Daniel had seen Vala in many forms, but rarely had he ever seen her look…hurt. Then Daniel saw it; there had been more to Vala's motion than Daniel had seen, or more than he wanted to believe.

Vala took a deep breath and lowered her hands. She still refused to look at Daniel. "I'm sorry, Daniel, for my inappropriate behavior. Rest assured, it won't happen again." She rose from the bed and stepped around Daniel.

Daniel stood quickly. "Vala."

"Thank you, for explaining your feelings toward me." Vala said. The door of Daniel's quarters opened in front of her.

Vala walked out of Daniel's room as the door shut behind her. She wasted no time in fleeing his quarters. Her tears returned within seconds, blurring her vision. Vala ran through the halls of the _Odyssey_. She avoided every frequently used hall, every room that was continuously used by the others, every populated section of the ship, Vala ran from them. She ran to the darkest, forgotten sections of the ship until she couldn't run anymore.

Vala leaned against one of the walls and slid to the ground. Her chest heaved breathlessly from running. She drew her knees up to her chest. Her hands trembled as they grasped her legs. The tears fell relentlessly down her cheeks, rolling off her chin.

Those tricks she used to recover failed her. Vala was lost in a sea of her own pain and tears. The walls that had protected her for years were now lying in ruins, much like her heart. She was trapped beneath the rubble of her walls with no one to help her out.

All of Vala's first few attempts were as Daniel had said, only for amusement. But as she had kept trying, Vala felt more beyond a lust for Daniel. Truth be told, Vala wasn't quiet sure what she felt for Daniel, but she knew it was more…_much _more than a lust for him.

Vala sat in the abandoned corridor of the _Odyssey_ for hours. She held her legs against her chest, letting all her pain roll from her eyes. Her breathing came in short gasp with her tears.

Vala felt no need to try and hide her pain; clearly there was no one who would care if she hurt. There was no point in dropping her emotional guard any more, no point in anything for her anymore. She could slip away to the darkest part of the ship and no one would search for her.

When Vala felt she had cried enough, she used the wall and pushed herself up to her feet. She walked through the corridor toward her quarters. Vala kept her eyes opened for anyone who she might come across, especially Daniel. As she journeyed through the halls, Vala was relieved that they were empty of everyone.

The door to her quarters opened and Vala slipped inside. She stripped from her clothes and replaced them with pajamas. Vala crawled into her bed and curled up into a tight ball. Vala took one o f her pillows into her arms and buried her face into it. She felt her tears reforming behind her lids. Vala took a deep ragged breath into her lungs and forced herself to a dreamless, tormented sleep.

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please don't kill me, this is my first SG1 fic. but be honest about your review.

i own nothing


	2. Chapter 2

Vala stood in the training room the next day. She stood in front o f Mitchell's punching bag, taking out all her energy on the object. Her eyes were still red and her cheeks still damp. Vala had woken up still in tears, but she couldn't keep hiding. It wasn't her nature to hide, not when she didn't have to.

Her fists dug into the bag with each punch. The muscles in her arms ached to rest, her stomach echoed in the room for nutrients. Vala hadn't eaten anything since the previous day and she surely felt the effect, but she wasn't in the mood to answer questions or be subjected to the rest of SG1's questioning eyes.

Vala pulled her fists back to her body and spun on one foot. The back of her right foot slammed into the bag, swinging it back and forth a few inches. Vala continued her assault on the bag with her fists. She wanted to beat it to death. Leave it mangled, leave it in pieces. She wanted to cause it as much damage as she felt had been inflicted upon herself.

Sweat mixed with tears on her face. Vala quickly brushed what she could from her face and slammed her fist into the bag. Her fingers were slowly going numb with each relentless punch. Her muscles began to tremble from weakness and exertion. Vala hit the bag one last time before she let her arms drop to her side.

Vala sighed deeply. She closed her eyes and lifted her head toward the ceiling. Her heart beat strongly within her chest. Vala lowered her head and opened her eyes. She walked to the sidewall and lifted a small towel. She dried her face on the towel, finally freeing her face of the-seemingly- never ending tears. Vala took a deep breathing again and waited for the moments to pass.

The door hissed open behind her. Strong footsteps echoed into the training room. From the sound of the footsteps, it sounded like Teal'c. He would be the most likely of SG1 to use the training room. Or Mitchell for that matter. Vala kept her eyes in front of her, if the others wanted to question Vala's actions within the previous day, then Vala would answer, but she wasn't going to bring any of it to attention.

"Vala."

Vala froze at the voice calling to her. She felt her eyes starting to tear again. Vala closed her eyes, holding back the tears. Her hands gripped the towel tightly. Vala reopened her eyes, keeping them focused in front of her. "Daniel."

Vala could hear Daniel footsteps growing closer to her. "Vala, I…about last night."

"What about it?" Vala asked. She folded the towel in her hands, trying to keep herself busy.

"I should explain." Daniel said.

Vala forced a laugh. She sidestepped Daniel without looking at him. "I think you explained quiet a lot, last night, Daniel." Vala walked across the room and through the door.

"Vala, wait." Daniel called. He followed Vala quickly.

Vala paused mid-step against her own will. "For what, Daniel?"

"Look, what I said last night, I didn't mean it, Vala." Daniel said.

A single tear fell from her cheek. Vala laughed again and started walking through the hall. "Daniel, in all my years of knowing and working with you, never have you once said something that you didn't mean."

"There's always a first time for everything." Daniel replied.

Vala laughed bitterly to herself. She wanted to run, but she didn't have the energy and Daniel would surely follow her. "There is also, nothing left to discuss."

"Oh I think there is and you know it." Daniel said. "This isn't something that can simply be left alone."

"Yet clearly I should have rather than let it go this far." Vala replied. More tears slipped from her face.

"Vala you don't mean that." Daniel said.

"Of course not, because then that would mean my only purpose was to laugh at your expense, right Daniel?" Vala replied. Her pace quickened.

Daniel sighed behind her. "Damnit Vala, would you stop running."

Vala shook her head. She turned down the corridor, leading from the frequently used corridors.

"Vala, look at me." Daniel asked. He grabbed her arm and pulled Vala to a stop.

Fed up with everything, Val spun on her heels and faced Daniel. "Fine. Here I am Daniel. What more would you like to say to me? What more insults and blasphemy would you wish to inflict upon me now?"

Daniel opened his mouth to reply, but Vala cut him off.

"What do you expect someone in my position to do? I've spent a large portion of my life as a host to a worm queen and another half trying to find my place by stealing. So I'm sorry if my way of showing affect isn't as considerate of others or as subtle as you would prefer." Vala explained. Tears rolled down her cheek. "You may believe that my advances were merely to laugh at your expense, but rather to me they were ways of seeing what kind of man you were. And with every attempt, every inquiry, I realized that you were a different kind of man than ones I've known.

"For the first time in my life, I felt something that I'd never been able fill with treasures. And the more I felt that something, the more it grew. The more _you_ grew on me. And despite being trapped on the god-awful ship, there is no one I would rather be stuck with than you. Now, you can believe whatever you want to, Daniel, but I will not deny what I feel for you." Vala explained. She freed her arm from Daniel's grasp and turned from him.

They stood in silence. Daniel lowered his hand, his mind pondering Vala's words. Vala brought her hands up to her face and tried wiping the tears. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. Her hands crossed in front of her chest, trembling.

Daniel watched Vala. This vivacious, energetic, thief never showed any fault in her personal life. She was always resilient-when focused- she never let the team down. Yet here she was this complicated woman, who never showed what was inside her mind-let alone her heart- in pieces. Her damp cheeks glistened from the light of the stars. Just as she looked last night, when he let his temper and his pent up emotions lose on her. The moment all her pride and stubbornness failed her. She was at her weakest then…and she was still there now. It was written on her face and in her tears.

Daniel took a slow, cautious step toward Vala. Vala neither moved nor made any hint that she heard him. Daniel reached up and gently touched Vala's shoulder. His thumb ran across her upper arm. With his other hand, Daniel reached out to Vala's cheek.

"Look at me." Daniel whispered.

Vala's head slowly turned in Daniel's hand. Her still glistening eyes met Daniel's, still bearing the hurt.

Daniel ran his thumb over Vala's cheek and her lips. He leaned in closer to Vala and gently kissed her. Daniel felt her tense briefly in his arms. Then Vala's hand reached up and grabbed his elbow. Their kiss was brief, and they quickly parted.

Vala opened her eyes and looked at Daniel. She gave his arm a gentle squeeze. Daniel smiled and started stroking her cheek again. "You better not be messing with me."

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ta da? how bad was it?

i own nothing


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